shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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