We're facebook friends in real life
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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