I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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