Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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