How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
