My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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