We're facebook friends in real life
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
