There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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