its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize