I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
