doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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