you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize