Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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