My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
