Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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