Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
