I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize