three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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