I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize