Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I have peed in a lot of sinks
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
