is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
