I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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