can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
they need to just BURY HIM!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Randomize
