I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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