looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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