I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
