help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
