i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
