She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Nicole vs. Life
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
