What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Randomize
