i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked