i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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