I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
