Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.

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(315): View more from New York

You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.

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(434): View more from Virginia

NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(859): View more from Kentucky

Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby

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(863): View more from Florida

In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us

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(425): View more from Washington

i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.

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(847): View more from Illinois

This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.

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(913): View more from Kansas

If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.

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