I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize