Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.

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  (732): So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up. http://tfl.nu/tcvy
  Replies (2) Good night (1089) Bad night (928)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.

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  (734): cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink. (630): if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan. http://tfl.nu/ows1
  Replies (6) Good night (1396) Bad night (1613)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah

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  (203): New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah http://tfl.nu/j6rb
  Replies (13) Good night (3325) Bad night (932)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.

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  (603): I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me. http://tfl.nu/xhqm
  Replies (24) Good night (1823) Bad night (3545)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.

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  (908): Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks. http://tfl.nu/ltgr
  Replies (11) Good night (5505) Bad night (1792)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive

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  (814): Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive http://tfl.nu/97qq
  Replies (3) Good night (2589) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking

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  (617): If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking http://tfl.nu/9ua1
  Replies (3) Good night (1177) Bad night (677)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".

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  (301): He said it. He actually said "yes it's in". http://tfl.nu/w699
  Replies (7) Good night (644) Bad night (2180)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  ... I threw up in the shower this morning

  (406): View more from Montana

  You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.

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  (307): ... I threw up in the shower this morning (406): You were "I'm not drunk" drunk. (307): I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time. http://tfl.nu/80b5
  Replies (1) Good night (681) Bad night (891)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.

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  (913): Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis. http://tfl.nu/77ah
  Replies (5) Good night (970) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So, were they human bite marks at least?

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Your guess is as good as mine.

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  (617): So, were they human bite marks at least? (434): Your guess is as good as mine. http://tfl.nu/gi39
  Replies (5) Good night (882) Bad night (443)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Locking that text forever.

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  (503): I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt? (1-503): Locking that text forever. http://tfl.nu/8ooh
  Replies (0) Good night (881) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.

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  (201): If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses. http://tfl.nu/91v1
  Replies (0) Good night (581) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.

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  (412): It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life. http://tfl.nu/gcvx
  Replies (5) Good night (856) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with

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  (760): People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with http://tfl.nu/de51
  Replies (4) Good night (535) Bad night (221)

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