Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?

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(970): View more from Colorado

Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?

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(323): View more from California

Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(970): View more from Colorado

I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big

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(905): View more from Ontario

Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.

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(317): View more from Indiana

This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked

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