I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
