TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
