no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
