The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
