Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
