I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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