i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
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