If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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