she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
