I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
