I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize