She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
