Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
