Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize