Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
