I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize