Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize