Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
