we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
