who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize
