MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
