I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize
