i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
