Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
