you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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