I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
