I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Randomize