Kareoke will never be a sober sport
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My bed smells like the plague
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
